December 2nd, 2011 at 5:40PM

Urgent message for every department store and coffee shop in America:

Joni Mitchell’s “River” is NOT A HAPPY CHRISTMAS CAROL. It does not bring me holiday cheer that compels me to merrily buy your products. Have you ever even listened to that song? It’s an achingly sad song about lost love that fills me with melancholy and regret every time you play it.

Well, okay I guess that makes it the perfect holiday song, actually. Nevermind, carry on!

  1. kinkyethnicfoodie reblogged this from jsmooth995
  2. textbooksforbfast reblogged this from themonicabird
  3. themonicabird reblogged this from jsmooth995
  4. hubawela reblogged this from jsmooth995
  5. quisp reblogged this from jsmooth995
  6. jramboz reblogged this from brickgrrl and added:
    I feel the same way about “Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24” by Trans-Siberian Orchestra/Savatage (I feel I should throw in...
  7. brickgrrl reblogged this from jsmooth995
  8. panoramacarnival reblogged this from jsmooth995 and added:
    of my mother, who I’m already missing more than usual this...of year. tl;dr thanks for...
  9. thedeeface reblogged this from jsmooth995 and added:
    And it should never be covered by anyone, ever, much less GLEE, because...sacred. The end.
  10. coldbitterness reblogged this from jsmooth995 and added:
    I always laugh when I hear this in CVS or something, for the exact same reasons Except when I hear cover versions
  11. unapologeticallyacanadianseal reblogged this from jsmooth995
  12. evelark reblogged this from jsmooth995
  13. earnestlyspeaking reblogged this from jsmooth995
  14. parapluiesdoux reblogged this from jsmooth995 and added:
    Re-blogged because I agree,...though in this context, it reminds
  15. thunderwishes reblogged this from jsmooth995
  16. mindizmyspear reblogged this from jsmooth995
  17. inourbloodinoursouls reblogged this from jsmooth995 and added:
    ^^THIS. I used to love that song untilll I realized how rapey it was. Now it makes me shudder.
  18. caseykelpthesnorks reblogged this from jsmooth995
  19. aboyscoutandabrownie reblogged this from cabell and added:
    I actually adore “River” and wish more stores where I work or shop would play it at this time of year, if only because...
  20. tumblieeng reblogged this from gabbylyon and added:
    ROFL I’ve never heard Baby It’s Cold Outside described like that, but oh my, it totally is. The only thing missing from...
  21. gregwhite reblogged this from knitmeapony and added:
    have happened if pepper spray...then. “Your hair looks...
  22. maevele reblogged this from cabell and added:
    WAITWUT. Cohen’s hallelujah. holiday choral concert. huh? no.
  23. alierakieron reblogged this from cabell and added:
    …I kinda wanna write that fic now.
  24. dreadforks reblogged this from jsmooth995
  25. chetmanley reblogged this from jsmooth995 and added:
    to “Baby It’s Cold Outside.” Sweet fancy Jesus
  26. gabbylyon reblogged this from michelle-my-belle and added:
    omq i love River (and Last Christmas). i mean, i usually do favor the depressing songs over all the rest. and it’s the...
  27. cabell reblogged this from jsmooth995 and added:
    friend just posted on Facebook about a...choral concert she’s attending
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